


I Wanna Hold Your Hand

by lullabelle_moon



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I tried something, M/M, Piningjolras, Self Confidence Issues, cocky grantaire, look I'm trying here okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 11:08:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullabelle_moon/pseuds/lullabelle_moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras just wanted to hold his hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Hold Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> This started with a dumb idea I had once and it's a bit rubbish and I'm sorry.

It began all too suddenly yet not fast enough. It was as though he was seeing the man for the first time. Physically he hadn’t changed much bar a buzz cut and a bruise on his chin courtesy of Bahorel, a bottle of whiskey and an ill-advised game of Mario Kart- but when he entered the cafe Enjolras still started at the sight. He noticed a million things at once that he'd never seen before. The way his eyes shone when he smiled, the way his fingers danced along the edge of the table before picking up his beer bottle. Enjolras swallowed as he noticed the full lips, the long eyelashes that shadowed his cheeks as he blinked. The shape of his shoulders as he shrugged off his jacket. He could swear that he was glowing. Enjolras shook his head and tried to focus on something else, but his eyes kept wandering back to the man in the corner. He looked up when he heard laughter and caught his eye. Grantaire smiled at him and raised his bottle to take another drink. Enjolras frowned for a moment, feeling the heat rise in his face as he tried not to stare.

"You alright Enjolras?"

Tearing his eyes away from the man he looked at Courfeyrac,

"Fine. Fine I'm fine."

"He's cut it."

"What?"

Courfeyrac pointed toward Grantaire who had returned to his conversation,

"You looked like you couldn't figure out what was different. He cut his hair."

Enjolras looked back at the man and nodded,

"Oh yeah. Yeah that's it."

Enjolras cleared his throat and returned to his papers; oblivious of the amusement on Courfeyrac’s face.

 

"You were staring."

Enjolras turned at the voice and stopped at the sight of Grantaire leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm sorry?"

Grantaire smirked and drained his bottle before discarding it on a table.

"Earlier. You were staring."

"Uhm..."

"It's okay. I don't mind. Just thought I'd mention my awareness."

Enjolras swallowed thickly as Grantaire looked him up and down and turned to leave,

"It looks good."

Grantaire turned back round,

"What does?"

Enjolras felt his face burn and he scratched his neck,

"The uh....do."

Grantaire ran his hand through his newly shortened hair,

"Thanks."

"Why'd you cut it?"

Grantaire shrugged,

"Does it matter?"

"Just wondered."

Grantaire moved forward and leant against a table,

"What if I told you I did it for you?"

Enjolras' eyes widened and he opened his mouth only to have nothing come out. Grantaire snorted and laughed,

"I'm kidding. I just got bored of it."

Enjolras let out a shaky breath and smiled at him,

"I'll see you tomorrow Enjolras."

Enjolras opened his mouth to reply but found himself just watching in silence as Grantaire left.

 

The first thing that Enjolras noticed was how soft Grantaire’s lips were. He pulled away slightly to look at them, overcome with fascination as he looked at them, so plump and red. He groaned and surged forward to capture them once more in another kiss. Fingers found their way into his hair and he moaned into the mouth that fell open so willingly, inviting his tongue in to taste the man he desired. He sucked Grantaire’s bottom lip for a moment before pulling back enough to whisper his name before falling into another kiss.

Opening his eyes he saw Grantaire sitting before him, his legs propped up on the table as he balanced a beer bottle between his knees. A sudden panic came over Enjolras as he realised he'd fallen asleep in the cafe, he lifted his head from the books spread out before him and wiped his mouth; thankful that he in fact had not drooled down himself.

"Good sleep?"

Enjolras cleared his throat,

"How long was I....?”

Grantaire sucked down his beer and smirked at Enjolras,

"Bout 30 minutes. Give or take."

"Someone should have woken me."

Grantaire swung his legs from the table and stood up.

"Well you're awake now. Back to work I suppose."

Enjolras sat up straight and stretched his arms out, relishing the popping of his stiff muscles; he started as he felt the hand on his shoulder. Grantaire leant into his ear and whispered to him,

"Whatever It was I doing for you- you're welcome."

Enjolras froze, he turned his head slightly and met Grantaire’s eye,

"What are you....?"

"You talk in your sleep Apollo."

Enjolras felt his stomach clench in panic as he watched Grantaire stand up and greet jehan with a clap on the back and a laugh at something he was saying. Enjolras stared at the books in front of him and tried to focus his mind, he could hear the blood rushing in his ears and before he fully registered what he was doing he had pushed his chair back and was walking out of the cafe, pushing past the laughing Grantaire and yanking the door open with such force that he thought he would tear it clean off its hinges.

 

He didn't return for three days. When he finally turned up he was hell bent on finishing the prep for the protest. The meetings were long and usually ended in arguments that caused at least one of the group to storm out. Enjolras didn't look at Grantaire once.

 

Enjolras looked at his phone and sighed before rubbing his eyes and yawning. He picked up his bag and headed toward the door when he was stopped,

"Have I pissed you off?"

He turned and looked at Grantaire,

"Why would you ask?"

"You've been ignoring me. I mean you usually ignore me but you've really been ignoring me and I figured I must have fucked up at some point and pissed you off so whatever it is I'm sorry."

He looked at the man and blinked a few times. Grantaire shrugged and pushed himself from the wall,

"Well anyway....I just wanted to clear that up. Whatever I did."

Grantaire began to leave the room when he felt the hand around his wrist,

"Grantaire."

Enjolras swallowed and turned to face the man,

"I didn't mean to....it's nothing personal."

He looked at Grantaire’s face, his eyes trailing down until they rested on the man’s lips.

"I just....there's been a lot of pressure and..."

Grantaire stepped closer to him,

"Pro-protests take a lot of work."

Grantaire nodded and stepped even closer, Enjolras could feel his words as they were whispered,

"Maybe you need to relax."

Enjolras swallowed his eyes unmoving from those lips. Grantaire lifted his hand and touched Enjolras' arm,

"You don't need to shoulder everything Enjolras."

"I do actually."

Grantaire smiled and Enjolras felt weak. He didn't even think about it; he just leant forward and kissed him. Grantaire froze and pulled away slightly. Enjolras' eyes had gone wide with panic,

"Fuck. Fuck I'm sorry. That was...fuck."

Grantaire lifted a finger and pressed it against Enjolras' lips.

"Not here."

"What?"

Grantaire turned and walked from the cafe. Enjolras rubbed his face; fully aware that he should leave and go home and pray that Grantaire wouldn't say a word. He knew he should do that but even as he thought it he was following Grantaire from the building and down a road to a building he passed everyday but never stopped at,

"Grantaire."

Grantaire turned and pulled a key from his pocket before unlocking the front door,

"Where are we?"

Grantaire ignored him and began to walk up the stairs; Enjolras took a deep breath and followed him to an apartment. Grantaire unlocked the door then turned around to face Enjolras.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you gonna kill me here?"

Grantaire smiled again and Enjolras couldn't help himself, he surged forward and kissed him again. This time Grantaire didn't freeze. He kissed him back; one hand reached up and held the back of Enjolras' neck as the other fumbled to open the door behind him. Enjolras pushed forward and walked them into the apartment; kicking the door shut and turning them so Grantaire was pressed up against the wood. The broke apart for a moment and looked at each other, Grantaire’s lips were parted and Enjolras had an urge to chew on the full bottom one.

"Where did that come from?"

Enjolras shook his head,

"I don't know. I can't explain it....I just wanted to kiss you."

Grantaire nodded,

"Okay. Okay you need to think about this."

Enjolras cupped his face, dragging his thumb over Grantaire’s stubbled jaw.

"I have. I have for....a lot longer than I care to admit."

Grantaire swallowed and gripped Enjolras' hips.

"Talk to me Grantaire. What's happening?"

"I don't know. I don't know."

Enjolras dragged his thumb over Grantaire’s bottom lip and leant in again, pausing before their lips met,

"May I?"

Grantaire nodded again and Enjolras kissed him gently. Grantaire let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Enjolras' tongue against his. He took the chance and deepened the kiss; his fingers pressed harder into the blondes hips as he tried to avoid a door handle in the spine.

"Mm mm wait..."

Enjolras huffed in annoyance,

"Yes?"

"Are you sure about this? I mean you never showed any interest before and I don't wanna have you hate me tomorrow and.....do you even like men?"

Enjolras smirked and bit his lip,

"I like you. I want you. I want so much with you."

"If this is a sex thing then...."

"It's a Grantaire thing. I want you."

"Do you know what you're doing?"

Enjolras slipped his hand between them and began to stroke Grantaire through his trousers; causing his breath to hitch.

"Am I that innocent?"

"N-no. Not innocent more...naive?"

Enjolras raised an eyebrow and cupped him,

"Naive?"

"I didn't mean it like...."

He was cut off as Enjolras rubbed his palm up and down the hardening bulge in Grantaire’s trousers. He leant in and began to kiss his throat up to his ear,

"Tell me Grantaire; is it naive to think of you like this? To want to ride you? To have you fill me? Only when you've come I'm going to turn you over and fuck you so hard you beg for mercy."

"Jesus Christ Enjolras what have you taken?"

Enjolras chuckled in Grantaire’s ear and continued rubbing him,

"Wake up Grantaire come on wake up."

Enjolras stilled his hand at the words and pulled away.

"What did you say?"

Grantaire let out a breath and looked at Enjolras,

"I....."

Enjolras grabbed his head and pulled him into another kiss before he could say anymore.

 

"Grantaire?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Don't regret this okay?"

Grantaire looked over to Enjolras,

"Impossible."

"I don't regret this."

Grantaire reached over and held his hand gently.

"Thank you Enjolras."

Enjolras smiled at him and turned onto his side to press against Grantaire before falling asleep.

 

It was several weeks before Enjolras first brought it up. He had had a bad day and wanted nothing more than to talk to the man who had kept him calm all those weeks. He walked over to where Grantaire was laughing with Marius and stood beside him. Grantaire looked at him briefly and picked up his bottle. Enjolras moved to hold his hand only to have Grantaire move out of reach and clear his throat. The others failed to notice the flash of confusion on Enjolras' face as he sat down heavily. It wasn't until the cafe had cleared that he bought it up,

"You wouldn't hold my hand."

Grantaire shrugged,

"I'm not big on PDA."

Enjolras watched him for a moment,

"Not big on....so going out to other places and practically mounting me is fine but here with our friends-"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Tough shit. They don't even know about us. It's been weeks and...."

"I don't want them to know."

"Why? Are you ashamed of me? Of us?"

Grantaire sat before Enjolras and grabbed his arm,

"No. No I....you have no idea how amazing you've made my life. I have reason to breathe now you're here...I just..."

Grantaire sighed,

"I just know how people will react."

"How's that?"

Grantaire looked at him and Enjolras was stunned at the sadness in his eyes,

"How they all look at me. Pity. Humour. Disgust."

Enjolras swallowed and reached for Grantaire’s hand again. Grantaire huffed and stood up,

"You don't get it."

Enjolras stood up,

"Don't get what?"

"Don't get how fucked up I feel. I mean look at me. Then look at you. You're so....and I'm just....they'll laugh at me. Punching above my weight. As always."

"Grantaire what are you-"

Grantaire held up a hand,

"Don't. Just...."

He sighed heavily,

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Grantaire...."

Grantaire left the cafe and Enjolras in silence. Enjolras sat back down and rubbed his face. Already sure of one thing. He wanted to prove Grantaire wrong.

 

It was another four days before Enjolras did anything; he kept his distance when they were around friends and spent the nights holding Grantaire close and covering him with kisses and sweetened whispers. He sat next to Combeferre and sipped his drink as they talked. He looked over to Grantaire and smiled involuntarily at the sight of him.

"Enjolras?"

He felt something swell in his chest and smiled wider,

"Look at him."

Combeferre looked around until he saw Grantaire,

"What about him?"

Enjolras chuckled,

"He looks amazing when he smiles. So alive. So...wonderful."

Combeferre frowned and looked at Enjolras again,

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you ever looked at Grantaire? Really looked? He's so...beautiful. Truly beautiful. Not everyone sees it. But I do. I see it. In his eyes, his lips, his hands. He's everything. He's my everything."

Combeferre opened his mouth to say something but shook his head.

"Enjolras?"

Enjolras looked at him and put his glass back on the table,

"I love him Combeferre. I love him."

"You realise you're talking about Grantaire?"

"Yes. I do."

"Ooookay then."

Enjolras stood up,

"Excuse me a moment."

He walked over to Grantaire and held his hand out. Grantaire looked up and blinked,

"Yes?"

"Take my hand."

"Why?"

"Please."

Grantaire swallowed and shook his head slightly, very aware of how quiet the cafe had become. Enjolras sighed and turned to jehan,

"Hand?"

Jehan looked at Grantaire before holding his hand out. Enjolras took it and climbed onto the table before Grantaire,

"Thank you jehan."

"Enjolras what the hell are you doing?"

Enjolras turned to everyone and cleared his throat,

"Can I have your attention please? I wanted to let you guys know now that some things have happened over the last few weeks and I think you need to be aware of them. For one thing I'm gay. Let’s just get that out there. And for another..."

He looked down at Grantaire who had turned a deeper red than Enjolras thought possible.

"For another thing, I'm in love. I'm in love with a wonderful man. Who is way out of my league but never mind."

The others looked at each other before looking back up to Enjolras,

"Grantaire I do love you. And I don't give a flying fuck what other people think. And I swear that if anyone ever says anything to make you think we shouldn't be then....it won't end well for them. Just....don't worry okay?"

Grantaire stood up and rubbed his face.

"You're a fucking idiot Enjolras."

Enjolras swallowed, suddenly very aware of how high up he is and that everyone was staring.

"You're a moron. The biggest moron in the world."

Enjolras swallowed again,

"I can't believe you. I truly cannot believe that you....you..."

Enjolras began to panic. He looked down at Grantaire and saw him smirk,

"You forgot how bad my balance is. I can't climb on there to kiss you."

Enjolras let out a laugh and jumped down, ignoring the pain as he landed on the hard floor,

"That's better."

Enjolras grinned and pulled Grantaire in for a kiss.

"FINALLY. I called it."

Enjolras broke away to look at Courfeyrac who was grinning and raising his beer at them. Enjolras laughed again and turned back to Grantaire.

"I love you Enjolras."

"I love you Grantaire."

Grantaire blushed again and buried his face in Enjolras' chest as Enjolras wrapped his arms around him and laughed.

 

 


End file.
